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Fri, 06 Dec 2019 02:50 GMT

Dating Gurus Offer Relationship Advice but are they Qualified?

Lifestyle & Health

Hannah Bardsley - 7DNews London

Mon, 15 Jul 2019 09:52 GMT

“Welcome… THIS is how you get Mr Right.”

Have you ever heard of Matthew Hussey? A man with ridiculous amounts of nicely groomed hair, solid eyebrows and a good jawline. He’s also a man who keeps popping up on my YouTube adverts promising me that he can give me three perfect ‘texts’ that guarantee that he will text me back. (Not Matthew, Matthew Hussey has no plans of texting me back.) 

Matthew Hussey is what he likes to call a dating coach. Just think of Will Smith in Hitch, but then add in a successful YouTube channel, an international following, a column for Cosmopolitan and a TV show or two as well.

I have been aware of Hussey since 2017, when I became a target for his online ad campaign. As a single woman in my 20s I am Hussey’s exact demographic. The kind of person not yet likely to be in a steady relationship, and very likely to be dissecting every message I receive looking for a potential romantic interest. Men be warned, we have group chats for these things.

Yet I didn’t take to Hussey. With his sparkling blue eyes, and a very American smile for an Essex man. I finally clicked his link out of frustrated curiosity, perhaps the advertisements would stop if I complied. (Perhaps persistence was one of his dating techniques?) The texts read like nothing I would ever send and so I laughed and dismissed them.

Hussey averages a subscriber growth of 626 a day and has almost 300 million views on his channel. His career hasn’t so much skyrocketed as grown steadily and successfully, which suggests that he should run business seminars rather than dating seminars.

There are seminars and there are also retreats. A 5-day retreat is reported to cost £3,000. Each day is filled with coaching, from Matthew himself. 7am to 7pm, full-on and intense and sounding a little more like a life coach retreat than love lessons. 

Kristin, a woman in her 20s who attended a free one-day seminar in London, told 7DNews how much she liked Matthew Hussey and his teaching.  

“They have a free monthly seminar in London put on by his team which ended up being run by his father and his brother. What I took from it rather than much dating advice was really to love yourself enough to know your worth. If a guy isn't showing you the signs you want, love yourself enough to move on with your life and know that you're worth what you want and deserve.”

But what are the Today Show resident ‘love expert’s’ actual credentials? He does not have a degree in psychology, sociology or anthropology. Is Hussey just a natural genius when it comes to these things? No Hussey has just entered and grown a family business. 

The love coach first started working as a life coach when he was in his late teens. This feels a little young to be telling people how to get the most out of life. Tried and tested methods from a 19-year-old, are not exactly tried and tested. Unless of course he is just incredibly wise and perceptive, with a ton of charisma thrown into the mix. Hussey is entirely self-taught in the world of ‘love-science.’ But this does not deter too many people.

Australian Tennille told 7DNews that, “He’s on the money about so many things. I agree with most of his dating/flirting tips. Recently he has been a little more life coach but when he talks about little things to do to get attention or patterns of behaviour, he nails it.”

Matthew Hussey is not the only person involved in the business of love. I was reminded of him once again when the office I work in advertised a free hour-long seminar with Dating and Relationship Coach Celina Bond. That this seminar was being offered free to the corporate world seemed a little odd. The event was advertised with the words, “Get all of your questions answered from a professional to become more magnetic, emotionally intelligent and valued to every human being in your life.” The adjectives abound. 

Bond’s YouTube channel only began two months ago and features five low quality vlogs averaging 280 views. The video titles include, Why Women Love & Date Rich Men, a clickbait title for a video on how important it is to be self-assured, and How (and why) Most Women Test Men. For her services, one on one coaching she charges £135 for a month of weekly one to one skype calls, and up to £523 for her 4 Week Signature Coaching Programme. 

She’ll even revamp your online dating profile for you. I have friends who would delight in doing that for free.I would do that for free, oh the power trip of that much control! 

Once again comes the exact question, what are Bond’s credentials? There is very little in Bond’s bio about any education or experience. She makes reference to some work as an actress and model, but no other experience. Instead she states that she is ‘professionally known’ for amongst other things, “Working with couples to rebalance the energy equilibrium within their evolving relationships to increase and maintain chemistry and attraction long-term.”

While Celine is still new in the dating business game, she does share one similarity with Hussey. They are both more than conventionally attractive. If I were to be very cynical, I would suggest that the two probably understand the world of dating so well and feel they can guarantee replies to texts because most people would at least initially be interested in them.

Yet Hussey’s work seems to go further than that. He seems to take on the role of a big brother in relationships. After you and your female friends struggle to interpret a message or romantic exchange, he comes in with the male perspective. According to Hussey the best way to be attractive is to be warm, confident and open. He states he is just as happy to be the reason you break up with the wrong man as the reason you end up with the right man. 

It’s a nice sentiment to be sure and it all seems pretty harmless. But then as I download his guide to the 9 Magic Texts No Man Can Resist I am immediately repelled by his first suggestion: “It’s a good thing we’re colleagues, because we would be so much trouble for each other” I have to be honest, I have no idea what the text even means, but it sounds like a very easy way to make your office environment very awkward.

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