Trump is in Britain and the Queen is hosting him for dinner. Not for the night, he doesn’t get to stay at Buckingham Palace. Apparently, it’s being renovated. The Queen is still staying there and you would think a palace would have plenty of room but there’s no room for President Trump.
But she is hosting a dinner for him, which is very exciting. There is nothing more unifying than breaking bread together. It can really help to bond people. Indeed, I once had a similar bonding experience with a new friend, a jar of Nutella and two slightly undercooked bread rolls. Absolutely delicious. But somehow, I doubt that Nutella will be on the menu for the night, which is a real pity because by all accounts Trump has quite a simple taste pallet. The real question is what will be on the menu?
Something very fancy, perhaps, but wouldn’t it be nice if it was something very British? So here is my list of very British, or even very English foods that Queen Elizabeth should serve President Trump.
Toad in the Hole! Ok, I know this sounds awful but bear with me. You have heard of Yorkshire pudding, yes? Well, imagine sausages (only the finest Cumberland sausages served by the Queen, I am sure) fried in a little oil or fat and then cooked in a pool of Yorkshire pudding batter. Delicious! Roast some potatoes to accompany the meal and boiled vegetables with a bit of mint sauce or cranberry sauce because… well, why not?
But that would just be the main course. For starters, leek and stilton soup, because what says British more than a slightly funky but delicious soup?
For the cheese board, a selection of Britain’s finest cheese. Red Leicester of course, some more stilton, a good bit of stinky bishop and some nice Wensleydale, accompanied with grapes from Kent. (Not the best grapes in the world, but what can you do?)
No, dessert is where we really come into our own. To quote an American friend of mine, “I don’t know why but I just love sweet stodgy English food.” What should it be? A Victoria sponge because of its royal ties? Or what about Eton Mess? Nothing communicates prosperity, wealth and privilege like a smashed meringue with strawberries and cream. No, I think the dessert that will really send the right message is the good old, raisin-filled Spotted Dick. Stodgy and dense and very white.
But should Trump decide to return the favour while in the UK, well it will probably have to be a McDonald’s meal for Her Majesty. Though surely Burger King would be more appropriate.